Monday, July 30, 2007
im just so sick and tired of life i just wish there's a way to escape. but there's none
(OMG SUICIDAL THOUGHTS?)
nooo. you're strong hanisah, you're strong. yay you can make it ((:
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7:55 AM
Sunday, July 29, 2007
torn.
i dont know wat else to say
my remedy <3
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7:13 AM
Friday, July 27, 2007
i felt today was time well spent (:
day started off with mass run. it wasnt bad cause its been loooong since we last ran. chem next was okay, nadiah the chemgurl. hahah. pe next was time doing share-a-thought skit/watching PEOPLE playing basketball. loll. recess was okay, i still felt like a glutton :/ emath test next was -----------------------!! amath next. i felt bad cause i slept ): and not the usual way i slept where i would sit upright and my head would suddenly fall to the side and i would suddenly jolt back. like i was sleeping so soundly (according to siti), putting my head down on the table while the whole class was so damnit noisy and ppl doing other stuff. i got woken uo twice though, when mr lee suddenly appeared in front of me and said smth, with me not understanding anth he was saying (cause i was still half-awake dude) and when liy, diana and nadiah were talking/commenting bout ppl. HAHA and guess who i saw the moment i woke up?
mona (: , the moment i woke up and looked out of the window ((:anyways after sch was niceeeeee. went for lunch at lido(!!) we were talking bout this two group(couple? but not the bf gf kinda couple la) of diff ppl and guess wattttttttttttttttt. the first couple suddenly appeared and yes we were shocked. but we were damnnnnnnnn shocked when the other 2 ppl suddenly appeared! omg i so did embarrass myself i wanna dieeeee(maybe amira wanna die more! HAHAH) anyways, on THAT incident, NO COMMENTS. (: went to far east and slacked at bk for very longggg. oh yessss and we saw half-moon faced guy!! LOL. ok home afterwards and im dead beat now. YAWNS. ily darling ((:-Pink&Black
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5:49 AM
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
im so tired. 1/2 sleep the moment i reached home was so not helpful ):
school today was slack like hell, for me that is. my head was spinning the moment i woke up and it refuses to cooperate with me for the morning. amath, i placed my head on the table and...fell asleep most of the time. but mr lee only went through 2 questions for tt 2 period so yea. mly was okay though. stickers stickers ((: recess, hmmm. el did the planning for share a thought as a class. emath after that i was damn distracted, plus, my headache was back again (haha funny how it comes esp during math!!) speech day full dress rehearsal after that. it was okay, i guess. i love angklung, really. not only the music, but the people. when we were playing, i turned and look around and everybody was just playing happily, plus we look so united as one, i feel damn happy (:
ooh plus we were bitching bout kristy on the way home in the train, omg so surprising how she ended up in like, c3?
hahah okk i have alot of studying to do and one more summary! (jiayou hanisah!!)
P.S. I ONLY WROTE THIS POST IN LESS THAN 5 MINS BTW (:
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6:26 AM
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
screwed up today's csp test full stop.
but since the classroom was on the third level, right beside the road/field, it was damn winding and relaxing (:
i want to start all over again, just how it used to be. i dont want this, i dont want this.
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3:37 AM
Monday, July 23, 2007
csp common test tmr. i dunno how to go on studying now. its driving me madddd. to the point where i can just break down ): there's soo much for me to study, tooo much maybe. plus attempting the workbook is so not helping. man, tmr's wed's timetable, so it will be a long, boring, tiring day. i dont know if i can even take it. moreover, its so super duper cold these past few days. life seems a struggle nowadays. everything is the same old thing. (OH SHIT I JUST RMB I FORGOT TO HAND IN OUR ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAY! AHH!! THREE MARKS GONE, SORRY REV! )): )life seems to be in slow motion nowadays, the usual moody mornings, the lazy afternoons, the boring lessons, constant STUDYING. (p.s. we have manymanymany tests coming up man ): ) and of course not forgetting the love-hate feeling that i constantly get. maybe thats what scary bout me. honestly, if i hate/dislike something or someone i dont really show it outwardly cause..im just not good in that. i feel really totally useless now. like how i can never do well. maybe its the effort thats not enough, or this brain thats not working. i prefer to believe its the latter one. im just so f8cking disappointed everytime i put in my best but the people around me just keep saying that i still havent done my best. and how they look down on you, just cause you're not doing well. how we are stereotyped, with everyone teacher in school see no hope in 3s3. (ok maybe not ALL) im tired, i wanna run away. but on the brighter side, mak mona gives me a lil bit more motivation <3>sorry friends, maybe we're just different.
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6:33 AM
Saturday, July 21, 2007
its raining now and the house is half empty. plus the windows are all closed and its so dark. there's a wedding going on somewhere and someone is playing th gamelan. deep, slow, gentle. ((: (my sat afternoon)
so amath in the morn was productive. cleared logs and felt better, for myself.
rename minus me and amira went to tamp mall ): they went to get flowers for the bahas ppl!
so since it was like only 1? i decided to drop by lot one. but haha, so much for dropping by. wanted to just return library books but as usual, there were manymany distractions. i gave up trying to save. cause i realise i save up for everything, and worry too much. but it was time well spent on my own, since it has been ages since i went out alone. headed to delifrance for some good light lunch (omg ppl must think im sucha loner) anyways went around and made frens with this woman in popular, around 30+. hahah. it was good company for like 1/2hr ((: then left for self-shopping (??) haha i finally got my earrings yay (: and bought pretty clips and ring too. im happy ((:
walked around aimlessly, looking at more random stuff. i thought i deserve an ice cream so... i treated myself to ice cream! and like that wasnt enough, i bought bubble tea yumm ;p
okay this post is to cover up the sadness in me ):
OMG THEY'RE LIKA BAHASING RIGHT NOW I WISH THEM ALL THE BEST MAN (((:
haha results out soon yayyyyyyy. ;DD
hey RENAME.
haha i love you guys. THE BEST.
AMIRA, thanks for yest. haha thanks for always being there for me to cry and rant at. haha i feel nice talking to you bout everything. I LOVE YOU!
RAIHAN, my ever slenger one, you're so loveable. hah thanks for endlessly making me smile and always cheering me up, making my day better! ;D LOVE YOU TOO!
SITI, eh this slenger girl. haha my all time buddy whooo. da best (: LOVE YA!
AQILAH, omg retarded, haha best bitching partner. yay I LOVE YOU!
LIYANA, hahah the one whom i can tell anything in the world and talk bout anth under the sun.(haha dont be so sad that he's getting married soon, you still have ME. LOL) LOVE YOU MANYMANY!
thanks for being there when i really need you guys the most i love all of you (:
and i loveee zan, amandyyyyy, summmmy and joyceee too, like duh. hahahah (((:
well that sums up my day for today. i feel better happier now (:
APPLES!
2:01 AM
Friday, July 20, 2007
as usual, i dunno whether to decide if today is a good/bad day. i think its just crazy(?)
ok so i reached sch at seven, went to changed to kelly's vietnamese suit yay ((: haha but its so freaking revealing at the sides and im not exactly thin.. loll! then assembly was ok. the atmosphere was good, better than the time the people who sing came to our sch (though i think its good!!)
concert was kinda short, alot of time wasted on prize giving. so anyways, chem afters was ok. pe, samat talked to us. ok i dunno how to put things into words now :/
recess was not bad, raihan and me finally get our muah chee woohoooo (((:
emath afters was okay too, think the thingy was quite simple. amath after that was nice too! cause we learn all the simple stuff. hah hee hoo. lit, had skit thing, thanks jessica, siti and ameeeeeeeeeerah. (:
cme was okay lor, we were in the music room and while everyone was busy talking, making noise and camwhoring (while mdm chua was talking and ppl presenting), i was the only one peacefully sleeping at the back. loll. next was camwhoring with liy, raihan and xin shyan!! :D
haha we first went to the mini forum and the pics turned out cool yay (:
our emo place next! haha its so funnyyyyy ((:
haha so they made a good company for that short period of time.
haha, and SLENGER RAIHAN shouted and ran away while we were posing at the grass slope. why? cause she saw ppl from the science labs looking at us. loll!
had pbmc meeting after that yay it was niceee ((:
AUDITIONS AGAIN FOR SHORTLISTED PPL NEXT TUES! (omg i have csp ct then ))); )
siti finished reap after that and we played ball passing with the netball! ((:
it was so freaking shit funnnnnnnn with MONA sitting at the study pavillion. woohoo!
and i kept hitting the class ceiling so we played outside! ;DD
the next 1/2 seems so fast and its so fuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!! ;D haha if only i can do it all over agn.
then went home after that. (:
oh no, its supp to be, 'then went home after that ):'
ahhhhh i feel so damn sucky, im not allowed to go tmr. like hello wats your prob?! haha but i love samat, i rmb his words and sooo.... YEA (:
i feel better now. i hate hanizah ismail, i love my mak mona ((:
ooh and this is how siti and i will share!
rangi: siti-90%, me-10%
J: siti-60%, me-40%
MAK MONA!: siti-30%, me-70%
so i told her its not fair cause she has more % than me and that she should take only 10% of mak mona (even though she will still have more!) but she refuses to give in to me!! that minah!!! hahaha! omg thats so childish but wutever hahah ((:
P.S. AT LEAST NOT AS CHILDISH AS THE S1 MLY GIRLS + HANNA WHO STILL PLAY WITH THE SKATE SCOOTER ALONG THE 4TH STOREY CORRIDOR! LOLL!
-Pink&Black
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6:34 AM
Thursday, July 19, 2007
my life's in a mess now
i cant seem to see where i should place my foot next
i dont know how to go on, how to just be me
for every person gone, another one comes. its true, i've lost two. but i gained back another two. its so fucking cold now
when you dont even know whats it me.
talking to each other like we're strangers now.
where had all the warmth gone to?
the things we used to cherish the most
all disappearing slowly
tell me, are you still the person i used to know?
but in this slow transition, i can learn to accept the truths.
learn to accept reality, learn to love. learn to cherish everything, learn to treasure.
thanks for teaching me the true meaning of love <3
APPLES!
7:28 AM
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
i have so much to say but...i dont know where to start.
ok maybe i have to admit, today i was pms-ing. like hell.
day started off kinda bad cause i was just in time to come to sch and i was alr perspiring like mad. and then my pe shirt was with amira and we have mass runnnn. but she came right before the sec3s ran for mass run though (:
amath was okay, time spent by writing letter to AQILAH <3 while listening to mr lee teaching at the same time ((:
mly was okay. nth much happened.discussed the bahas topic.
recess was mundane/dull though it was rename#6 bday!
el next was okay though, did argumentative. i felt so emo and alone then (:
emath was okay, cant really concentrate. dunno why i can never concentrate during emath. but hey, at least i fully understand the map thing taught. (OBS WOOHOO! ;D)
next was journal writing, the whole sch's supp to write letter. (free stamps yo (: )
after that then my mood started turning for the worse.
lunch was horrid cause everybody abandoned me and siti in the canteen boooo.
then lit mock test. i was so distracted and became so cranky. SORRY SITI! D: so anyways i was damnit pissed plus lava and vaish both dont even freakin bother to reply to my msg or the manymany missed calls. imagine how pissed i was cause i couldnt decide whether to go for csp, amath mock, or follow bday girl and siti to make bday girl's ic. i really felt like crying then.then smth else happened. more like, i was damnit affected by wat this person says, ended up crushing the letter omggg. childish? so i sat with raihan and liy and we did amath. it was sorta open book cause keong cant really be bothered. estimated marks we would get: 13/60! loll.
then going home part was okayyy la.haha can you see the reason why i love rename? (oh anyways i found out YSL lipstick cant be used cause got dunno wat collagen? not halal! loll. but i like their colours ): )
anyways i just came up with this impromtu poem while chatting with AHEM just now. haha it makes me cry shittttttt. (OMG i just realised that person's msn nick is 'The STARS will be your nightlights, and i'll be your lullaby'. coincidental?)
MY SHINING STAR
somewhere along the path, i see a shining star.
the star fell from the sky, from up so far.
i picked it up and kept it for myself. and i can feel, its the best thing i can ever have.
but as the morning comes and the night fades away. i took out my star, expecting its shine to stay.
but tears rolled down my face. when i found out that wasn't the case.
the star has lost its shine. and now its no longer mine.
the star that has been shining all along. suddenly seemed to be gone.
so i carried it away. wishing that i should've just let it stay
up in the sky so high. i never asked myself why
i took it away, though i should've known it'll never stay
so i brought it back to the track. hoping i could put it back
but again, it made me cry. cause i realised the sky was too high
but now its too late to turn back time. cause i took something that just wasnt mine
so here i am sitting on the track having no clue. can you please tell me, tell me what should i do?
to the star that was once dear to me. cause i really, i really wanna set it free.
i love this poem. can say its the best i have ever done. and inspirations like this are good. you cant force a poem out of yourself, it'll just come to you ((:
plus you have no idea how meaningful this poem is. <333
-Pink&Black <3
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5:36 AM
Monday, July 16, 2007
i dunno if i should decide today was being the best or worst day of the week (like duh, its only mon?)
im lazy/too depressed to update now. maybe tmr, yes (:
im sorry i was mean. i want my letter nowwwwww ):
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6:30 AM
Saturday, July 14, 2007
day well spent, im happy (: (ok partly)
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7:31 AM
Friday, July 13, 2007
i figured today was kinda slack, abit too slack for Crazy Crescent.
day started off with no mass run (: then it was chem next. kinda slack cause wasted alot of time fixing the interactive board or watever its called. plus MS azrina had a hard time with the MAGIC MARKER. hahaha. pe was okay...played captain's ball and wasnt quite enjoyable. only that i kept laughing while trying to catch the ball, which zoey desparately trying to block it. HAH. recess was ----------. after that had emath but i fell asleep cause too sleepy (like now) and feeling bad cause i dont fully understand the whole chapter i asked for consultation. oh me (: amath next was nth much, at all. cause dearest mr lee didnt come so the class arranged tables. we got the class tag to go out. WOOHOO *roll eyes* spent the remaining time designing our future school uniform, more like what i wanted it to be like. HAHA. lit next was okay, had quiz and its kinda rubbish. like why would we bother bout where T.W. lives at?! and where he studied at?? anyways mdm chua didnt come for cme too so it was half free period. stupid games at study pavillion with ameerah, siti and raihan for the first 1/2 hr. second half, was cleaning up time. haha. we act nerd and guai cause dyo was coming in later to "TALK" to us, the eleven who didnt meet her yest. i tucked in my shirt(still have 5buttons but its so tucked in :/), pull my skirt longlongggggggggg, pull up my socks, pin up my hair and act guaiguai(with my specs! :D)
haha the talk was bullshit i dont wish to elaborate more. after school was kinda aimless. ended up going to ps with raihan <3>
i promised myself never to cry agn, but for the first time in 3months, i cried yest night. and its all because of you. maybe im just being too emotional. you're not the person i thought you are. stop puttin on a fake front in front of me, it sucks. and see how i turned away when i saw your face
i.miss.hanizah.
and how i bitch about her last yr. haha. i miss that slenger kid ):
APPLES!
6:05 AM
Thursday, July 12, 2007
tmr will be kinda slack. will only have chem, e and amath and lit(which is like the slackest subj?). no cme cause chw wont be thereee ;D pe, most likely samat not there or have the retest thingy. BUT i'll be a loner after sch boooo. raihan will be watching hp with her cousin(HMPHH), amira will have bahas and siti and liy have reappppp ):(omgg im sucha loner :/)
today was badd. everything was going fine till dyo have to spoil ALL of our moods, yes the whole of s3. damnit. i shant elaborate more, or rather cant, since we are all told to just keep this serious matter to ourselves, but honestly she's so unreasonable i cant even express it in words or actions. omgg wanna break down manxzxz. well siti did though, CHEER UP BABE ((:
ok life sucks, not really. its just damnit empty i cant stand it anymore. ahhhhhhh. parliament house this satruday yayyy. and lunch with rename minus amira and bahas after that. ah, thats better for me (:
but its better if you do
APPLES!
5:49 AM
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
i feel so bad, i cant even explain it well.
ahwellllllls, im feeling so cranky now and my tummy hurts booo ):
ok im off
AUDITION RESULTS OUT SOON PPL (: (haha if next week is considered soon enough)
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6:41 AM
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
i feel bad. bad&sad. cause i realised that...i have lost my passion for chinese. ahhhh i know i know, its so hard to believe but its freaking trueeeeee. chinese lessons are no longer fun. im only passing tests now, not passing with flying colours. i even took a whole minute to remember how to write 爱 just now. ): and my attendance has been so...rubbishy. :/ i dunno i feel so confused, bad. i dunno if i should even move on, drop the subject. or not, stay as it is. and TRY my best to work much harder. honestly, i want ms tan as our teacher backkkk. and i always diligently do my revision and study from dusk till dawn for the exam. but now...
i dunno. i guess its just me who has changed.
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5:43 AM
Monday, July 09, 2007
i just felt that i didnt put in my best for mly o level orals. i feel so disappointed. if only we could turn back time.
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7:01 AM
Saturday, July 07, 2007
i've been at this page for so long but i just cant seem to find anything to blog about
defeinitely not bout wat happened today, cause even though its a sweet and amazing day, i realised its TOO COMMON.
i realised that i have no direct aim in life now, like wat amira mentioned at macs just now. its like, my life is so...dull
but i love my friends. the way they make me smile, the way they can turn any bad day into a goooood one, the way they just play a part in my life (;
I LOVE YOU GUYS ((:
the random-ness is back in me nowwwww
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6:58 AM
Friday, July 06, 2007
im so tired, too tired to blog
i wanna make cupcakes sooooooooon ):
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6:41 AM
Thursday, July 05, 2007
| You Are A Professional Girlfriend! |
 You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise!Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro.If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you.You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy. |
omg this is so freaking hilarious.
haha no comments on it though
ahhhhhh there's amath and emath test tmr, PLUS chem class test (?). oh did i forget to mention el oral toooooo man im sooooooooo dead ))):
come rescue me!
Pink&Black
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6:07 AM
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
i dunno why im still blogging though my back hurts like shit after all the work and i so need lots of rest
BUT
i felt happy today i guess. was fasting so i couldnt get my choc eclair. like omgg i've been craving for that since last sunday yessss
i saw fad, the last yr sec4 otw to sch(:
sch was okay, but claudia ting cheat my feelings ah )):
after sch was better cause had pbmc meeting to discuss bout drama HEH
then afters, went to lotone
yesssssss this part im happy ;D
first went to macs to get raihan's food for breaking fast at home (:
then saw my cousinnnnnnn ((:
so we walked out of macs and saw sambaey and MASSSSSSSSS aka mygoldENtertainer ;DDD
haha was blushing like mad wtffff im so embarrassed yikesss
then we were just talking bout snrs AND in a few secs we saw ashikin and siti (:
haha okay, even though they were meannnnnnn to us last time, they're still considered as NICE (omg)
haha then went home. tired but happy cause i saw AHEM ;DD
i completed emath hol hmwk and im sooooo glad. but more like i skipped out a few sections, like those i hate (coordinate geometry, graph etc)
i have to do phys but i left my textbk in sch :/
ss...i have no clue how to continue from where i stopped
so, i have lit left, which is due on fri, and study for amath, emath and chem test! ;D
ok im off ((:
feeling good~
Pink&Black
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7:52 AM
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
i feel so... i dunno how to even describe it :/
maybe cause i guess i havent been crying for so loooongggg
i know it sounds insane but..last time i use to cry randomly yknow, without any reason, just cause i feeel like crying ://
day well spent today, though kinda slack, i still love renames
and now i dont feel a little bit richer, i feel a little bit broke. haha
today was slack, school was cool ;D
mass run was badddd cause it made my hair so screwed ):
amath was not bad, we talked alot but ehhh i did my hmwk okay (:
mly after that was nicee cause its the usual 'storytelling' time
recess with sumaiya nehrin nur was <333
el was cool too cause we did art ;p haha with my lovely crayons and wonderful markers and busybody ameerah reading all my letters!
emath was okay, though i feel real bad as i was toooo distracted :/
assembly was okay, more of stoning?
and after sch was ((:
though short (time really flies eh?), its still niceeeeeee (((:
im happy ;p
-Pink&Black
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6:36 AM
Sunday, July 01, 2007
i feel so...bad
haha curse me darling
supp to mug today but...
going out later with sissy
and hopefully baking tonight yay ((:
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11:16 PM
Church;